


Mark of the Tranquil

by Serpex



Series: Annie Week 2020 - Serpex [5]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Annie Week 2020, Character Death, Character's Name Spelled as Bertholdt, Comfort, Cuddles, Death, Demon, Devil, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hell, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Psychological Trauma, Sleep, Sleeping Together, Sleepy Cuddles, Trauma, War, beruani - Freeform, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:20:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24103519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serpex/pseuds/Serpex
Summary: Bertholdt has trouble sleeping. So, he's counting sheep. Actually no, he's counting one sheep over and over. Except, it's a demon with fur.Her name is Annie.
Relationships: Bertolt Hoover/Annie Leonhart
Series: Annie Week 2020 - Serpex [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1666270
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Mark of the Tranquil

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Annie Week 2020 with prompts set by [@JezterEddin](https://www.wattpad.com/user/JezterEddin) on Wattpad
> 
> Day 5: Soft/Demon
> 
> Following our trend of lateness, this is late xD 
> 
> Originally, this was supposed to be short and sweet. But, I had a sudden relapse of a certain situation. I won't go into detail as it's a bit of personal history that only those who are truly close to me know. However, all I can say is it involved war and trauma. It did not involve me directly, but this certain war affected many people in my life and I've carried their burden in me as well. I have nightmares about many things, and recently there are images of war that I've subconsciously created. Maybe it's a way for me to understand, but I truly don't know. 
> 
> Writing is the only way I know best to ease my spirit.
> 
> As a way to come to amends for myself, I took this fic into a new direction and rewrote this three times all with three different approaches. This was the best result of those attempts, and the one I'm most comfortable with posting.
> 
> I hope that you guys like it even with its rather dark nature (although not as dark as the previous entry for Annie Week).
> 
> Follow my Wattpad: [@Serpex](https://www.wattpad.com/user/Serpex)  
> Follow my IG: [@actualserpex](https://www.instagram.com/actualserpex/)

“Hey, we’ll get to go home soon. I would give anything to eat Historia’s pot roast right now. Rations leave an aching taste in my gut,” I mumbled. The cold air wooshed above us as I pulled her body back. “Come on, you have to stay with me, Annie. We’ll go back to the village together where everyone’s waiting.”

“It’s too late,” she whispered. “So cold…”

“No, no, no, Annie you can’t die!” But, I knew the truth. The place where her torso was supposed to be now had a gaping hole. Bones jutted out from the exposed organs and spilled along the trench. Gunshots and cannon fire continued its deadly onslaught overhead, yet I could hear nothing. It all faded and became numb until all I could hear was my own heartbeat and feel the life faded in my hands.

“Annie, please,” I cried. “You’ll be okay.” She wasn’t okay.

“The medics will come!” They didn’t come in time.

“We’ll get you back home!” She never came home.

I had fainted from an impact that hit just in front of the trench. The ground shook as Annie fell from my arms, limp and dead. My vision faded from that moment and left me empty.

When I woke up on a military hospital cot, it was cold. I lost my right leg. It was funny that those pirate characters in storybooks always prided over their peg legs, yet here I was bound to it for the rest of my life. The wooden pole stung and ached, a wound that throbbed no matter how many pain pills I took or soothing cremes I applied.

I saw her in a dream, Annie Leonhardt. She was a soldier I had followed even before joining the academy. She was a calm, strong, and calculated woman. I admit to being enamored by her. But, relations were close to none on the battlefield. We never imagined that we would misjudge the distance the enemy had gained overnight. And in the end, we paid the price.

There are times that I wish that I died, and yet here I was, alive. Yet, she comes back to haunt me. I thought it was punishment for my sins, yet the presence felt like a blessing. I clung to her and yearned for more. But in the end, I am just a man wrought by broken memories.

One sheep. Two sheep. Three sheep. No matter how many sheep I count, it’s all just one sheep. The cold seeps into my skin and rattles my bones. My shivering body cannot sleep. And for a moment, I open my eyes to glowing darkness illuminated only by moonlight faded into the window panes.

“What? You can’t sleep?”

I jerked up throwing covers off my chest and freeze letting the fabric fall into my lap. Sitting on the edge of the bed absentmindedly staring out the window was her. She looked almost the same as she did back then. Her hair tied up neatly and hands rough yet slender from long hours put into training. And yet, she wasn’t human. Long delicate horns rose up from behind her ears and soft fur trailed down her nape and spine until it ended in a hooked tail. If anything, she was the true definition of a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Annie swished her tail from side to side as if thinking about something, yet I couldn’t lay a finger on what.

“...You came back again,” I stated. She glanced over with cold eyes that stared straight into my heart. It was all the same as back then.

“So I did,” she replied. “And you are still having nightmares. As a demon, I thrive off the sense of fear. I could tell it was you even from hell. You sniffle and cry like a little bitch. I suppose even after you were sent home from war, old habits die hard. How’s the leg?” She pointed a finger to the nub extending from the right side of my body. I shrugged and fell back into the pillows.

“It’s all the same, an itch that won’t go away. Only death could save me from this misery,” I remarked as I closed my eyes. I sensed Annie lift herself up and wiggled up the bed until she laid next to me. Her fur tickled me a bit, but I turned so that I could pull her towards me. She nestled into my arms and fell into a steady rhythm of breathing matching with mine. Her hair smelled like strawberries, a sweet scent to caress my senses.

“You know,” she whispered. “Death doesn’t suit you. You were always smiling at the academy and even in the field. The fear of dying out there never stopped you. Although, I bet you were scared out there, too.”

“Hah, I spent a lot of time soiling my breeches, Annie. My bladder control only gets weaker with age,” I mused.

“Got a diaper already?”

“Shut up,” I scowled. I opened my eyes and poked her in the forehead earning daggers aimed for me. I tried to return an equally deadly glare, but we both fell apart and laughed in the night. “Sorry, Annie. I guess having a lack of sleep does crap for my mental state.”

“I guess so,” she huffed. There was a moment of silence again until she continued. “I meant what I said, Bertholdt. Death doesn’t suit you. You should live happily now. There’s nothing that can ever scare you more than what was out there.” I took a deep breath and started to comb my fingers through her hair.

“Only one thing scared me out there, and that same thing continues to scare me now. It was watching you die without being able to do anything. I said so many things that were never true. Your blood was on my hands, and that was worse than any other life I had taken. The blood of the enemy could not rival the guilt and dread that devoured my soul. The sins I committed are large in number. But, somehow it is nothing compared to that moment. I wondered for so long what I could have done. But, the reality is clear.”

“Nothing could have been done,” Annie finished.

“Tell me, Annie. Why do you keep coming back? Is this… Is this a way of punishment for me? I don’t mean it in that it’s unpleasant. It’s been… Warm. It’s been very warm since I’ve been able to see you again. But, surely there’s a better reason why you come here,” I insisted. Annie tensed for a moment before tucking herself even more against my body.

“Hell is a strange place,” she finally said. Sins, punishments, repentance, and retribution: it’s all intertwined in an eternal war, too. Angels and devils are a two-sided coin. Sometimes, I can’t even tell which one is which. For the deeds that we did, we are condemned to hell. But, we don’t belong. My reason for coming is part of my own solace I suppose. For me, coming here is… Warm. It’s warm here, too. Like this, I can hold you in my arms without worrying. It’s like the good old days when I used to sneak into your bunker.”

“Hah, I remember that. I will never forget climbing into bed, looking up, and seeing you in the ceiling staring down at me,” I said. “Honestly, it’s a miracle I haven’t died from your antics. Although, I suppose when the time comes, I’ll be in hell for you to torment forever.” Annie couldn’t stop the smile from forming onto her maw. Her tail flicked about happily and settled to wrap around my waist.

“I would love that,” she mumbled. “You have no idea how many pranks I’ve been able to form and test out. I’ll make you miserable in a different way when you die.”

“If it’s by your hands, I don’t think I’ll mind,” I replied. “Annie… Thank you for being here.”

“I’ll always come back for you, Bertholdt.” My eyes closed once more, and her body became still in my arms. For the rest of the night, the nightmares didn’t come back. And when I woke up to sunshine beaming into the room, the spot beside me lay empty. Yet, the lingering smell of strawberries clung to the bedsheets.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this if you made it this far. In any case, this leaves just two more fics before I'm done ^^


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